How to Overcome AnxietyNov 14, 2021
Let’s talk about anxiety.
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And it has been the entire time that I've been in this realm of healing, spiritual work and life coaching, because once upon a time I actually was an anxious basket case.
I was living this reality where everything would throw me over the edge. It was constant emotional surges, I felt like I didn't have control over my own body sometimes or my own emotions, I was constantly sick, and I didn't know when I was going to lose it and when things were going to feel too much.
I remember feeling isolated with it too, because the people around me didn't understand me or what was going on with me either.
And so, when I started into all of this work of intuitive coaching and quantum healing, I started seeing a lot more people that we're going through this same thing.
I started dissecting to figure out, what is anxiety at its core root?
Because I've learned with everything in this realm, if you don't know what the core root cause is for that individual or that circumstance or that diagnosis, you won’t be able to remove it from the person’s experience. It will just keep resurfacing.
And I'm not talking about how your cells do this, and then your brain chemicals do that. No, something came before that. There was a catalyst moment that created the situation where your body started responding in that way.
And across the board, what was the exact same in every single client that I worked with who was experiencing anxiety was that there was too much energy running through that particular person.
Too much energy! And It could be too much energy in the emotion field. They could have too much energy in the mental field. It could be too much feeling stimulation. But it was always a surplus problem.
And there was an inequality in what was coming in versus what was going out.
Because there is too much coming in—and oftentimes we don't know what to do with it, so there's very little coming out—when there is too much on the inside and there’s no release, it causes a malfunction at a junction somewhere. And oftentimes that becomes a mental sorting problem, or it becomes a metabolic problem where we're not digesting things correctly. Sometimes heart palpitations, stomach cramps, even things like ulcers starting to develop, conditions like IBS, MS, fibromyalgia… these are all caused, for the most part, by too much energy coming in without an appropriate sorter and outlet to go back out.
And so the secondary problem that is happening with these anxious people is that they are actually holding on to the energy instead of sorting it, reading it, and then discharging it appropriately.
The third thing I see with a lot of people dealing with anxiety, is they aren’t just holding on to it, they’re also adding to it, strengthening the anxiety and making it bigger and more all-consuming to the point where they become paralyzed with the inability to move or make a decision or do anything without overwhelm.
So I started coming into the awareness that when I was working with somebody who was self-identifying with anxiety, or maybe a therapist or counsellor or doctor had put that label on them and now they bought into the identity and grid of it, the very first job was always to figure out what was the causation of their body bringing in so much data, so much energy, so much light, so much sound that it was causing other systems in the body to malfunction.
No matter what it was, I had to find out what the core root problem was for that person.
There’s a catalyst moment, there is something that happened in that person's life where a trigger went off where they didn't feel safe.
Stress Leading to Catastrophizing
Many people who deal with anxiety can remember a moment, or many moments, from their younger years where they felt generally unsafe. Whether they grew up in unsafe or unpredictable families or home environments, or they were dealing with the anxiety of their own parents, or had trouble at school.
Children living through these unpredictable experiences will find ways to cope, to keep themselves safe as much as they can. Oftentimes that presents as anxiety for themselves and leads to building out stories or timelines of horrible things happening or fear based scenarios of what could come next where we felt like we had to protect ourselves or stay small.
Being in that state can absolutely lead to metabolic symptoms where the person is no longer allowing their body to ever get to the rest and digest state and is either in fight or flight or in this hoarding mode because, ‘I'm going to need it for later.’ Like putting on this protective shell.
Identifying as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Empath
Another possibility is that people can be reading too much energy from others! This is the empath syndrome. How many empaths do we know who also suffer from anxiety, right? It’s not supposed to be that way! Empaths aren't supposed to be suffering.
Empathy itself is not actually an identity, it is a tool.
And so when people self-identify or diagnose themselves as “being an Empath'', they’ve incorrectly applied the tool, and now they've installed the Empath Archetype Grid, which is laced with suffering and an overabundance of energy coming through their body from everything that they are doomed to deal with. Global circumstances, the person next to them, the headache the person in the mall has, what their dog is feeling, how the Earth is shedding ley line data that day; everything goes into emotional overwhelm as soon as they plug into that Empath grid.
And they don’t see that it’s completely unnecessary.
Overconsumption of Media
Some anxiety, especially nowadays, isn’t even caused by the thoughts we’re thinking, but instead by what we’re consuming.
We can look at social media and the news media, as an example of this. That’s another form of light and sound information, AND subliminal programming that is being brought into our fields over and over and over again that's going to change our brain chemistry.
It is statistically proven, you can go read about this on the government websites about how they're trying these different tactics to move people in certain directions to take specific actions. And that can cause an anxiety response in a lot of people, because you start overriding what you feel is true and your processes, your hormones, your mind start aligning to what other people are saying. And so then there's a battle for energy where there is this one part of you that goes, ‘this is what my nature and my archetype wants,’ and then the other part goes, ‘this is what the collective experience is asking of me, or projecting onto me,’ and it's too much energy.
Anxiety is literally just an over-abundance of energy that hasn't been sorted and cleared out in an appropriate amount of time.
If people knew that, if people knew that all anxiety is, is an overabundance of something that required action and sorting and an outlet, they would be a lot calmer.
And that is something you can control.
So, what do we do with this, now that we can go, ‘Clearly there's too much energy in here and not enough going out, what do I do with that?’
I actually don’t attack this the way traditional therapists or counsellors would. Shocker, right?
What I actually recommend to my clients first is not even going back to the original trauma, not trying to sort back to what that catalyst moment was for them, but to start by compartmentalizing the anxiety with journaling.
Compartmentalized Journal Steps to release Anxiety:
- Start a journal with each topic on a separate page, or column, or in a different section of the notebook. You might have one for your job/career, one for your kids, one for your pets, one for your partner/marriage, one for world events and circumstances, and you might need one for ‘other’. Put whatever is top of mind for you into separate pots.
- From there, go through and write down all the thoughts you’re having about each one in that section. Everything you can think of. Don’t worry about forgetting something, you can always add it to the list later as it comes to mind.
- When you’re done writing things down and are ready to start moving some of it, look at each item on that list and ask yourself: Is this actually mine to hold? Am I actually responsible for that one?
- For the ones that you get a No to, it’s time to release it.
- Go quiet for a moment and ask, “Hey body, thanks for showing me this. Where are you holding onto this?”
- You can do a scan from head to toe if that helps to locate it. Some area of your body will get heavy, or dark, or maybe you’ll get a little cramp or stabbing pain, or maybe you’ll have your attention pulled there, or you’ll just know it’s there.
- Then use your emotional release and energy clearing techniques (if you’re in the Healers Rising Academy, they’re in your Foundations library) to pull it out. Ask your body to let it go.
It’s so simple that people want to overcomplicate it and have anxiety about it, but you don’t need to! It’s just, “Hey body, where are you holding this? It isn’t mine. It’s time to let this go.”
A Note to Parents Dealing with Anxiety
Many parents get into this trap of thinking or justifying that if it’s at all related to their children, that it is their responsibility to carry it as their parent.
You can't parent appropriately when you're in a state of overwhelm with your child’s stuff, and it's not your job to carry their energy for them.
So what we have to do is step out of it, become the observer, and take a breath, recalibrate our own system and calm ourselves down, and then go, ‘Okay, if I was going to listen to my child’s cues at this time and how their body is expressing what their words are currently unable to say, then how would we move together?’
If you can learn to effectively move your own emotions and the energy that is coming into your field and get it flowing in a more even amount, then you can model that behavior and teach your children how to do the same.
You won't have to hold onto their stuff, because they’ll know how to deal with it themselves.
I've worked with thousands of parents in my practice between the one-on-one sessions and those who have been in the community, and they all come back after they have learned to do this for themselves and report that their house has calmed down.
And the reason is that when you're able to step out of that frenetic energy where everything is just too much, too overwhelming, in an overload, when you're able to step out of that and release it, you're no longer adding to the chaos.
And your kids have probably been empathically picking up and trying to sort YOUR stuff for you that you weren't dealing with anyway, and so when you deal with it, a huge amount of that is just going to lift right off of your entire family and household.
It's always our job first to calm and co-regulate our own system to a rhythm that feels good, feels peaceful, feels calm.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re still going to get razzed sometimes, we’re still going to get triggered at times. That’s life. But our main operating system, we want to get to a spot that feels level for us. Productive, happy, able to come up, able to go back down, able to get tasks done, all of those things. When you can start creating that for yourself, everybody around you starts picking up that skill. And the house will calm down because you're no longer adding “too much” that hasn't been sorted to everybody else’s plates.
So, compartmentalized journaling—looking at all the different containers, and then eliminating the things that aren’t even yours (or not solely yours) to carry—that's the first thing I always recommend.
How to Deal with Anxiety Coming Up in the Moment
The first instance that a symptom comes in, whether that’s an instant headache, starting to feel really fatigued being around other people, feeling nauseated, or emotionally drained, stop and check in.
Is that even yours? Or are you reading somebody else's energy current?
Without even realizing it, people can be very projective. They are often tossing their stuff everywhere, and those of us who are highly sensitive and we're good at reading energy, we’re going to pick it up. It's just a fact of life. But it doesn't have to take you out.
The Overwhelm of Being a Healer
Healers don’t transmute things in their own body.
I’m going to say that again: Healers don't transmute things in their own body. And if anybody is teaching you to do that, it’s a huge red flag.
We don’t want to bring other people’s stuff into our physical vessels in order to help them to release it. Doing that will make you sick.
What we want to do instead is use our bodies kind of like a computer monitor to read and observe their symptoms without absorbing them. I teach my D-Codes™ students to do this. But we need to make sure that we're not actually taking other people's stuff into our physical vessel; it needs to stay just outside so we can observe it.
Regular Outlets to Move Energy
Another important part of moving this energy is making sure that you're giving yourself outlets to move energy out on a regular basis.
Now, this could be journaling, or doing card readings for yourself, or running energy work on yourself. Working with crystals, being out in nature, moving your body, taking a bath or being in water, creating art, any of these regular activities can help you. If those activities aren’t working or they stop working, it’s time to change it up and find something else for a time.
A creative outlet can be immensely supportive in moving energy faster and helping you get back to a flow state.
And it doesn’t necessarily need to be your forever thing, and you don’t have to necessarily be good at it either. It just needs to be something you try once or twice a week.
Puzzles, coloring books, knitting or crocheting, cooking or baking, gardening, painting or drawing, rearranging and decorating your living space, these are all great physical and creative movements that can help us to get out of our heads and back into our bodies.
And a physical activity can do the same.
Going on a walk gets you places. It's a choice to travel and move along a trajectory or pathway, and it creates a macro to the micro situation where when you are holding yourself back on a fear-based thought, if you're willing to just put on your shoes and go for a walk (and not necessarily pre-plan your entire route) it can sometimes give us permission to just take the one next step and get the momentum going in other areas of our lives.
One of the things that works really well for some of my clients is working regularly with a coach. Someone that they talk to that can help them be able to sort all their thoughts out.
I’m going to use the example of Violet, because a lot of people are similar to her. Many of you know Violet, she’s with me on a lot of my Youtube videos and podcast episodes, and she’s my right-hand woman in my company.
Violet is not very good at sorting and processing big thoughts and data with the important situations in her life, internally. It’s her default way of trying to sort, but it doesn’t actually work very well for her. When she tries to sort in her own head, all the data streams and threads get even more disorganized and tangled up like a ball of yarn.
What she actually needs is a sounding board that she can speak out loud to so she can hear how the tones land in another person’s field. From there she can instantly hear if it sounds right or wrong or if it’s hitting a resonance field that needs to be tracked further, or if it’s falling flat and she can just delete and uncreate that thought form.
Speaking it out loud and working through it with a coach or a friend who is going to hold space for her without judging or trying to fix it allows her to more quickly pull the threads to detangle that web of yarn that she’s spun when left to her own devices in her head, and isolated.
For some people, that process works really well on their own just by writing it down.
Because when you can actually see those thoughts in 3D form or hear the 6th and 7th dimensional tones of them, you can sort through it so much faster.
If you leave it in your brain, your brain’s job is to literally find links and tie them together to build efficiencies. So that you can think that thought over and over again, faster and faster. And not only faster and faster, but get the chemical messengers and hormonal reactions to happen faster to make sure that what you were thinking is thought properly and so that you can create the action you wanted in an even more efficient manner.
Sorting inside your brain is the worst thing you can do.
Instead, journaling or saying it out loud, or finding a really good intuitive coach that can hold their field and not project their stuff onto you to help you sort through it is a much better option. My Level 2 and Advanced D-Codes Practitioners are really good at this.
We can’t go through everything alone. And when it’s really messy, having somebody in your corner who can see you and hear you and help you to sort through it because they don’t have a stake in your outcome, making them a neutral part of your unwinding, can be super beneficial.